Salad Senator Issue 4

The Salad Senator
Official newspaper of the Salad Senate
Editor in Chief: Monsui
Issue 4: April 27th 2013


Second Course Almost Ready
Reporter: Dralfir

Recently the Salad Senate successfully added a nice crispy amber topping to the second course in the mission to protect Pandaria with a successful defeat of Amber Shaper Un'Sok, after a couple weeks attempting to get past him the team braced themselves and in the first attempt taught him that they are not to be trifled with.

The battle started with Un'Sok focusing his skills altering the genetic make-up of them and turning them into Amber monstrosities, the monstrosities were weakened to the point where the tanks could break free of the casing. After taking some damage the Amber Shaper stopped focusing on the tanks and unleashed his greatest creation a giant monstrosity of Amber. After a long fight the creature was defeated driving Un'Sok into a rage at the destruction of the monstrosity. The battle turned into a race for time as the Amber Shaper's will was so strong that the people could no longer break free from the Amber shells while he was alive.

The Salad Senate eventually prevailed and moved on to make the Dread Wastes safe for the Klaxxi once again so they can go back into hibernation to prepare for their usual cycle.


Editor's Note

I would like to apologize for the delay in the release of this issue. Me and our reporters have had a hectic month. We are hoping to get issues out on a more regular basis but cannot guarantee anything.


Shifting Sands Solidify
Reporter: Ditarenzu

This month the Salad Senator organizers Suxian and Salmacis made the decision that to help assure a minimum of communication issues they needed to appoint a Raid leader to be in charge during the time they were inside the raids. After much deliberation they settled on appointing SaintJim as the raid leader, they also chose to appoint Ayr as DPS lead and Booning was appointed to Heal lead.

The Salad Senator would like to congratulate all the new raid leaders and wish them much success and ibuprofen.

Salad Senator Special Issue 2

The Salad Senator

Editor in Chef: Monsui

Special Issue 2

Service Cancelled

Earlier today the Salad Senate was forced to disband under continuing pressure of being unable to resolve issues between mambers. Major complaints were of constant yelling at members from elemental Shaman Salmacis. Tank Dralfir was sited as being to much of a smartass for many members to deal with.

Priest Saintjim was cited as being power hungry and constantly trying to take over while the team was working through the heart of fear, while the other tank Stillup was questioned about why he could not live up to his name but failed to answer because he was on another corpse run. Booning spent most of the raid yelling at Suxian for having such poor heals yet the complaints coming in from some of the raid members claim that he was even below Hunteress in heals when she broke out a few linen bandages to help out.

The Hunter Salmek was trying to defend his outright thievery of Slamacis's name but was failing miserably. When asked for comment about the raid drama Slickrock failed to respond because he was to busy watching baseball for the fantasy league.

Since the Salad Senate is no more that also means this will be the last issue of the Salad Senator, it was nice knowing you. Have a good time in the World of Warcraft and Happy APRIL FOOLS DAY

The Salad Senator Issue 3

The Salad Senator

Official Newspaper of The Salad Senate

Editor in Chief: Monsui

Issue 3: March 26th 2013

Breakfast is Served

Reported by: Dralir

This past week the Salad Senate once again returned to the Mogu'shan Vaults in northern Kun-Lai summit. They arrived with the full intent of showing the Mogu of the vaults that Pandaria was not theirs to take. Having ensured all the previous bosses did not return again this week they stepped up to the machine that summoned many aspects of the will of the Mogu emperor, from the small but determined rages to the large strengths. They activated the machine at the insistence of Lorewalker Cho and the battle began, after a few of the weaker mogu attacked the Senate noticed two humongous Mogu forming in a couple of the alcoves, Stillup and myself were quick to grab the attention of these Behemoths to keep them from turning some of the lighter clothed members of the Senate into paste.

Despite the creatures constant attempts to devestate us me and Stillup were able to keep the creatures occupied and even get in a few opportunistic hits in on them and after a lengthy battle they and the rest of the summoned mogu lay on the floor dead making the vaults safe for Pandaria. The first course is done and the Salad Senate is ready to clear the bugs out of the kitchen for lunch.

Kitchen Cleaning
Reported by: Dralfir

The Salad Senate having cleared the Mogu'shan Vaults have headed out to the Dread Wastes to what was once the heart of the Mantid Empire. Upon arriving they found the place infested with bugs (not surprising since the Mantid themselves are giant bugs). The Klaxxi are determind to serve their people and make sure they survive, sadly for them it means the one they once called Empress must be removed so they can start fresh. The Salad Senate has one job out here to clean out the kitchen so the Mantid can hopefully cook things up the way they always have in the past.

The cleaning went well, a little elbow grease had the entrance room sparkling as the Imperial Vizier Zor'lock quickly proved no match for our practiced heroes. Continuing in the team found Blade Lord Ta'yak to be a tougher bug to squish yet with a bit of adjusting of the bug spray recipe he was put down.

Upon seeing the crew coming the remaining mantid in the palace got worried and summoned in Garalon. The traps the Senate laid for him proved to be ineffective yet tomorrow they are headed back in to clean up the kitchen some more.

Food for Thought
Cooking and Crafting in the World of Azeroth

A Nimble Snack
Guest Chef: Salmacis of Aerie Peak

When out fighting in the wilds of Azeroth a feast is a great thing to have with you if you are with a bunch of friends, however sometimes you are out on your own and setting up a feast is just time consuming and a waste of food, for times like those it is always best to make sure you have food with you that will get you the most bang for your buck. While most of the time I prefer to work with the elements to keep my enemies away from me, my training did teach me skills to fight toe to toe with them if I must.

One of the key parts of my training was the fact that since I do not wear the heavy plate that a warrior, paladin or death knight would it is best that I just avoid getting hit. For those situations I need a meal that will keep me light on my feet so that I can smack the beast I am fighting while he finds nothing but air. My preferred meal for those situations is Sea Mist Rice Noodles.

You start the dish with some raw turtle meat cooking in a Wok, sautee up some Tiger Gourami as well and a generous serving of Scallions. Once you have these started you want to take some rice flour shape it into noodles and cook them into the mix, it makes for a great meal that doesn't weigh you down as you dodge around the enemies so they never know which way your attacks are coming from.

Sea Mist Rice Noodles

5 Tiger Gourami
5 Raw Turtle Meat
25 Scallions
1 bag of Rice Flour


A Shocking Find
Guest Reporter: Mykul of Azgalor

The continuing attack on the Isle of Thunder has recently yielded a shocking new discovery in the world of Blacksmithing. As a miner I have always done what I could to keep my blacksmith friends supplied with any spare Ghost Iron that I could when I wasn't using it to craft jewels for use in armor. Recently the demand for the bars has skyrocketed as the recent invasion of the lightning mines has lead to many Blacksmiths learning the secrets of Lightning Steel.

Lightning steel has proven to have many surprising uses over normal Ghost Iron and such so the need for plenty of Ghost Iron may last for a while since the crafting is so involved all blacksmiths can only seem to craft one bar a day.

Lightning Steel

10 Bars of Ghost Iron

The Salad Senator Special Issue 1

The Salad Senator Special Edition

Official Newspaper of the Salad Senate 
Editor in Chief: Monsui
Special Issue 1: March 20th, 2013

BIRD DROPPINGS

reported by Dralfir

Since the resurrection of Lei Shen the thunder king and the assault on his throne in order to show him once and for all that Pandaria is not his the Gnomes have been very busy. They have successfully simulated 6 of the powerful creatures one can find in the Throne of Thunder in order to help guilds prepare themselves for what they will face when they attempt to take on Lei Shen.

For the past two weeks members of the Salad Senate have charged in hoping to find items they can use to assist in fixing the other issues around Pandaria. The first week was slow going but eventually they prevailed, however last night they encountered a problem unlike they had encountered before.

To start the night they gathered 24 members of the Convert to Raid community including such big names as Fangnail himself, who is still quite popular in the community despite his infamous dealings with members of the horde. Some outfits have linked him to dealing of the hunter Zhug over on Earthen ring.

The team successfully managed to once again prevail over the first 3 bosses and continued on to the second test chamber set up by the Gnomes. There was some trouble getting by Tortos, but eventually they prevailed, after that they made short work of Megara after clearing through tons of mobs on the way to her. Another slog through mobs they found themselves face to face with Ji-Kun

This bird sadly proved to be too much for the team to take down especially considering the time it took to reach it, the bird was dropping the raid left and right and eventually it was called a bust as many of the members had to get some of that mystical stuff called sleep. Will the Salad Senate return to the Gnomish device? Only time will tell

Overthinking

Sam sat in the back of the meeting, wishing he was not himself, wishing he was in a different place or situation. His mind had trapped him here and was preventing him from moving. There were no chairs in front of him and nothing blocking him from moving forward, to his right there was nobody sitting there preventing him from moving that way either. Yet the person sitting directly to his right and his own mind prevented him from shifting even upon the seat he was sitting upon. He stole a glance at her out of the corner of his eye and once again wondered to himself what it would be like to be going out with her or to even ask her out to begin with, and with that his mind took off running, it was almost a blessing from the uncomfortable position his mind had trapped him in already, and yet it was the same predicament just played out.

***

The meeting had ended and here he stood in front of her. People filed out of the meeting hall but they were of little worry or concern to Sam. They chatted calmly while inside Sam screamed, finally Sam built up a burst of courage " I was wondering if maybe I could take you out this weekend" No that wouldn't work. 

Time rewound.

"I was wondering if maybe you would be interested in poss--" That would never work, it mught never even reach the question.

Rewind.

Would you maybe be interested in going to dinner and a movie with me." Wait was that asking to much, oh and great way to end things sitting in a dark room wondering if you chose the right movie, wondering if you made a good impression at dinner, wondering if all she could think about was when would this end and you drop her home.

Rewind.

"Would you be interested in going out this weekend?" Freeze. Was that too soft, too eager, forget it and let the chips fall where they may. Resume.

She burst out laughing "Really?!??!?" Her laughter caused the whole room to turn and the laughter spread as people at the meeting realized what had happened. Freeze. She would never respond like that nor would anyone at the meeting laugh if she somehow did. Rewind.

She looked pained, "Look Sam, you are a good friend, but I don't feel about you that way." Freeze. Maybe, but that isn't too bad and at least you know now. Rewind. 

She smiled at the thought, "Of course. I am busy..." His mind finished running through likely responses and in typical fashion even managed to keep up his end of bumbling around trying to ask.

***

He was back in the chair and his mind once again latched on to the last two responses and provided further details. Suggesting maybe if he had to ask the second would be best, still friends if slightly awkward, but it was best not to even ask. Another part of his mind chimed in quietly but firmly bringing up the end results of previous attempts to try and point out he should ask and even if he got the third one and things fell apart he had a good track record.

***

His mind brought up who would always be in his mind the first girl he had felt the stirrings of potential love or actual love, his own mind could not even categorize it. Friends for almost a year they had been on a vacation together with a group of other friends, about halfway through the vacation she had admitted she might have some of the same feeling he had previously (and stunningly poorly) expressed for her. The last few days were amazing, holding hands hanging out, spending almost every minute he could with her, they had never kissed, he wasn't sure why but it never happened. When they got back home, they reverted back to friendship, though he tried to keep things going a bit and now they were still good close friends and now she was married so they would never be more than that.

The next was slightly more disastorous and yet was his first girlfriend sprang to mind, He asked her out, she said yes. They went out, yet by the third time he knew it likely would never last, he never felt as relaxed as around the girl from the vacation among other things and yet he was afraid to break things off. The Barenaked Ladies song "Break Your Heart" popped into his head, and while that may be part of it, he had to admit to himself he liked having a girlfriend and that stopped him from admitting what he knew deep down. They broke up and remained friends till she moved away and eventually he lost contact.

The third example was in a way the most and least disastrous and yet he was still friends and there was now dating or anything he had just been blind to things till he stepped back and looked at things objectively.

The first voice had to get its licks in pointing out that many of the women were now married including the first girl he asked out straight and who said yes, then backed out at a later date.

The the voice had to chime in about the one who-- Sam ruthlessly cut off his mind and brought himself back to the meeting.

***

So he remained sitting here in the meeting, right next to the girl he liked afraid to move closer for fear she wasn't interested and might assume he was trying to be too forward, and afraid to move away for fear she might think he wasn't interested. He silently cursed his mind for running through so many scenarios, for letting his fears control him and wished he could build up the courage to just ask and calm his mind down.

Adventure In Azeroth Week 3

Mikal stood there looking at the device in his hands, mind flashing back to when the Goblin had handed it to him.

"Yeah it's safe. We at G&G pride ourselves that only 1 out of 5 of our devices explode, can't get safer than that."

"How about them not exploding at all?" Mikal asked, h was certain he heard a gnome in the back burst into laughter at the suggestion.

"What are you crazy? Engineering would be no fun if you didn't risk losing an eyebrow or a competitor. We tested this one heavily and only one guy died from the explosions, and that becuase he had kept it near the fuel for his chopper."

Mikal still wondered if he was gonna look a fool in a minute or two but was ready to take the chance. He pushed the shield button to indicate he had tanking gear, toggled the switch to random Heroic and hit the go button. The goblin had said to put it at his side and wait for the beep to state it was ready. He breathed a sigh of relief that it had not blown up on him and started to attach it to his belt whenit chimed and a Gnome voice came out of the speaker.

"A dungeon group has been found for you, please accept to be teleported there"

Mikal was shocked it had happened so fast but hit the accept button on the device. He felted a weird sensation he had come torecognize as the teleportation these devices used from his expereience with the one that sent him to battlgrounds. He held his breath hoping it did not decide to explode now.

He closed his eyes expecting the worst since it was taking so long and suddenly felt a shock and fell back onto the ground. A goblin voice issued from the device suddenly "Additional Instances cannot be lauched at this time."

Adventures in Azeroth Week 2

The group moved past the barricades heading into the fortress and were immediately set upon by a swarm of skeletons with extra bones jutting out in every direction. Mikal charged in shield up and axe firmly in hand he blocked and swung at the creatures, the mystical force holding together made the battle last a long time. He received almost as many nicks and cuts from the bones sticking out as he did from the creatures swinging at him, but the healers were behind him and his cuts knitted themselves back together almost as fast as he recieved them.

The damned creatures finally fell to the continued assault of magic and metal. Mikal looked back and saw the combined factions looking at them almost as if seeing him and his friends fight off the beasts had improved their opinion of him. Yet they don't come up here and help us fight do they? He thought to himself. The group moved further into the Citadel finding a row of enemies sitting there looking straight at him. He qucikly assessed them and charged in at one who looked like he was ready to throw spells right back at the mages and healers behind him. He struck the creature in just such a way that it was momentarily stunned. He felt his rage grow inside him and channeled it the way he had learned to his foot. He stomped down and lightning crackled in a circle around him injuring a group of the monsters. The caster in front of him dropped into a trance and started to cast a spell and Mikal swung his shield striking the fast perfectly to ruin the spell and prevent him from casting another for a few seconds.

***

The fighting had been fierce with giant skeletons on the wall breaking off and attacking people when they stepped in the wrong place on the floor, but they had won through and they stood there looking up at the humongous skeleton in the center of the next room floating there staring right back at them. Mikal wondered why he didn't attack but was just as happy that the creature gave them time to catch their breath. Suddenly the leader of the group raised his voice "ALL RIGHT EVERYONE HEAD BACK OUT THE FRONT DOOR".

Mikal turned to ones of the other guys who had been on the front line taking the heavy hits with him " Wait, what??" he asked.

The Night Elf turned to him, "You heard him, head out. This is a rep run we are doing"

***

HISTORIC MOMENTS IN AZEROTH
Mount technology discovered.

The three gnomes ran back and forth in the lab one brushing the sides of the tent every so often, tinkering with the two identical machines on the far end of the room from each other working hard at getting them ready for the test. The first gnome wore a special helmt and was clearly in charge he took a look around and felt all was ready. He whistled to the other two gnomes to tell them it was time. As soon as he finished his whistle he realized his error as his horse hobbled outside broke free and came charging to him as he stood right next to one of the platforms. The horse broke the wire connecting the two machines across the top of the tent and the Gnome grabbed the horses reins to keep from falling over. He still fell but the reins turned his fall and he crashed into the control panel hitting the activation button.

The machine whirred into action and there was a flash of light. When the light faded the horse had vanished and the gnome was left holding a pair of reins in his hand. A short argument ensued as to why the gnome would want to learn how to ride such a big and obnoxious animals especially since mechanostrider technology had advanced so that only every 5th one blew up in less than a month. That fight was followed by a long worried search for the horse wondering where it had vanished to since it had not appeared on the other pad as the prototype transporter was supposed to have it do.

Later that day after they had decided there was nowhere else to search the gnome sat holding the reins of his horse wishing that it was there. Suddenly the horse appeared out of nowhere attached to the rein as if it had never gone anywhere.

Thus was how the gnomes accidentally stumbled onto the technology that lead to current mount summoning system.